Another Good Example of Why People Think Southerners Are Stupid/Honky

I found these gems of mental ineptitude from an interview by College Humor with Playboy Playmate Colleen Marie, Miss August 2003. Here are a few of the dooky diamonds:

"Q: How did you decide you wanted to pose nude?

A: My friend sent my pics in for a college search. So technically none of this blatant nudity is my fault."

Because we all know that giving your friends access to those bare-assed, post coital pics some FSU frat boy probably took of you after you passed out cold on his room mate's bunk bed is totally not your fault. Quite possibly the lamest excuse for 'accidentaly' landing yourself in Playboy, ever.

"Q: Is it weird knowing that millions of people have seen you naked?

A: ... Actually only weird to know my relatives might have seen it, remember I am from the south so the chances are pretty high."

I have to give her credit here for actually admitting that her family is a bunch of inbred rednecks that wack it to their grand-daughter's/niece's/cousin's Playboy spread.

"Q: Has your Dad ever seen your pictures and what does he think of them?

A: Funny story, he bought the first issue I was in, the College Girls issue, because he thought it was just sexy pics, not nude. Well he opened at his office took one look and slammed shut in his briefcase. Deep down I think he's proud."

[Read: We haven't spoken since] I haven't felt this much denial seeping from a sentence since Nicole Richie's latest round of "I'm not anorexic."
It's such a relief to know that although her dad would check out his daughter's sexy pics in a "college girls issue" of a magazine, he knows to draw the line at bare nipples.

"Q: The Grotto: Can you get me in?

A: Do you really wanna go in a hot tub that millions of little sperm are dying in right now?? Didn't think so."

You hear that? Playboy=dead sperm. Cancel your subscriptions now!!!

Just to clarify this interview was done by and is property of College Humor, I'm just using it to rip on and pass time. I really shouldn't insult this girl too much, after all she is making money off those funbags while mine are sitting here burning her for free.