Let's Play The Race Game

First one to restitution wins!

I am a prejudiced bastard. There I said it. I have a tendency to think a person will act or speak a certain way based on their color, gender, and social status.

I have been following this whole Michael Richards thing since it first occurred on November 20, 2006. In the event you've been moonlighting as Howard K. Sterns' self-respect: Michael Richards (aka Kramer on Seinfeld) was doing a stand-up gig at the Laugh Factory. In the middle of his act a group of people (minorities) walks in and sits down. According to one group member this irritated Richards and he made some mean comments to them. Then later in the act one or more group members started heckling him and this sets Richards off. Most of the incident was caught on video, although the film didn’t start a’rollin until Richards took his racist shots at the hecklers. The reason this is national news is because in his rage, Richards dropped the n-bomb, like 236 times. Just kidding, it was actually closer to 10…or 20.

Ok, after the video hits the internet and Jerry Seinfeld makes a statement about how “sick” he feels about this incident concerning his former costar and friend, Richards publicly apologizes on Letterman via satellite. Richards didn’t even make up a lame excuse to hide behind like alcoholism, drugs, or Kevin Federline[1]. He just expressed his regret over his actions and claimed that he let his anger consume him while on stage that night. Damn, didn’t his agent ever tell him that only losers[2] and 5-year olds[3] tell the truth?

Now the victims (two black guys) of Richards’ rage are touring the morning talk show circuit to talk about how the only thing that will cure their pain and anguish is some cold hard cash. Yes, that’s right, either their sleazy attorney introduced the idea to the innocent young lads hoping to score a juicy cut, or these are some seriously transparent, prideless, mooching bitches. You think if this happened with some small-time comedian[4] they would be paying a lawyer to try and profit from this situation? Ha! Those broke bitches probably would’ve just waited outside the back door to kick his lily white ass for free. If all they really wanted was a personal apology from Richards, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be trying to cash in right now. I love their attorney’s lame ass reason for their cash-sniffing:

“If our children took a rock and threw it through the window of a next-door neighbor, we would say to that child, ‘Go to the neighbor, apologize directly to the neighbor and pay the cost of that window that you broke,'" ... "We think it’s important that he follow his words with deeds."

You stupid, stupid bitch. How the hell did your dumb ass pass the bar? God damn I can’t believe you haven’t killed yourself with your own stupid yet. So from your logic, every time someone says something that requires an apology they should accompany their words with cash? You know, that shit's got some merit.

Sleazy lawyer: your baseless drivel has reduced my IQ by ten points and made me fear for the fate of humanity, you owe me an apology accompanied by twenty bucks. Please do not send check. That is all.

Ten bucks says this ho is working pro-bono until she can get her slice of the settlement. So now what? Should Richards apologize to the victims of his rant? In my opinion (which I know you really want and value) it’s sort of important what the black guys said to Richards. What if they called him a “fucking Jew” or “cracker” or any other slur, should he still apologize? On BET’s comic view the comics spout out “cracker,” “white-boy,” and “whitey” all the time, especially when there is a white audience member. I haven’t heard any of those victims trying to sue or demand an apology even though they got a slavery-era slur to the face. As much as white people sue each other[5], you don’t hear about them suing blacks or Mexicans (because they’re smart)[6] or Asians (because they’re smart)[7]. Maybe white people are masochists and think they deserve the abuse, to make up for their forefathers[8], or something.

I’m not saying that the words spick, chink, cracker, nigger, sand digger, etc are ok, it just seems like whenever these words are uttered they completely erase the faults of the receiving party.
There are always two sides, and the media is only interested in one.


All the racist/prejudicial opinions containted in this rant include but may not be limited to:
[1] Federlineism: insinuating that Kevin Federline is a lame excuse.
[2] Implying that all losers tell the truth.
[3] Insinuating that all 5 year-olds tell the truth.
[4] Suggesting that all small-time comedians are broke bitches that live in their mom’s basement.
[5] Insinuating that white people are litigious.
[6] Alluding that blacks and Mexicans are too broke to be sued successfully.
[7] Suggesting that Asians are too smart/rich to be sued successfully.
[8] Implying that all white people’s forefathers were slave owners.